feeling lost

what actually do i want?
i really don't know just wanted to be alone and sort things out

do i love him?
do i actually miss him?
do i really wanted to go back to him?
does he felt the same about me?

half of me was like i wanted to be with him
another half not.... because failed in the relationship once...

is this life?
feeling so lost so hopeless...

anyway my application to poly was unsucessful...
need to work and earn myself a living and enter pte sch to continue this lonely path of my own~

maybe i'm cheating myself that single is the best...
but i'm sure i'm sick and tired of relationship!!!!